Sex, Desires & Rock N Roll Read online

  “I so was not,” I say, my voice sounding higher than usual.

  “You so were,” the two of them yell in unison.

  I can feel the heat radiate once again from my neck to my cheeks. “Okay, so maybe I was, just a little.”

  “Seriously, Bennett, a little? Are you kidding me? You were practically ready to jump his bones right there.” I can’t believe Tracy is giving me shit. Hello pot, meet kettle.

  Little does she know I had to stop myself from doing just that. Very weird. I’ve never had that strong of a physical reaction to a man before—not even with Blake. Anyway, I have to pull it together because there was no way in hell I am going to make a fool out of myself. He isn’t anything special. Just because he is some lead singer of some unknown band to me, just because he is by far the most amazingly beautiful man I have ever laid eyes upon, and just because he… just because he… Fuck. Who the hell I am kidding? I’ll be lucky if I don’t trip and fall in front of him, have verbal diarrhea or something even more hideous, and completely embarrass the shit out of myself. Dash Ford is definitely something. Progress.

  I accept the fact that we are heading to the after-party and I will probably have to face him at some point. After all, Val works for him now, and the little groupie sitting next to me is gaga over Lance. I give Tracy a year, maybe two, and she will have easily won his heart and will be walking down the aisle. Thankfully as we get in the limo, they both drop the subject of Dash Ford. I think at one point I give them an “I-will-kick-both-your-asses” look, and that was that. I can be a bad ass when I need and want to. Siren is only about twenty minutes from the arena, but traffic has basically come to a standstill because of all the concert-goers trying to get out of Dodge all at once. It seems like an eternity to get there, which I really don’t mind because it gives me a chance to pull myself together as best as I can. Tracy and Val basically talk—well, Tracy, really—about Lance, although Val makes a comment or two about the drummer, Vic. I think Miss Valerie Winston might have a thing for him, although I have a feeling she’ll never admit it or act upon it. Val is beyond professional and has a strict personal policy to never mix business with pleasure.

  The limo pulls up in front of the club, and the place is a mob scene. There are people everywhere, all clamoring to get inside. I begin to wonder how in the hell we’re going to get in. The three of us step out of the limo, and Val leads the way. Standing by the front of the line is a very good-looking guy dressed in black from head to toe, and I can’t help but notice him. He’s quite tall, I would guess over six feet, has short black hair and olive-colored skin; he’s very good looking. His eyes are focused on the clipboard he holds as we approach him.

  “Valerie Winston and friends.” Val uses her stern “I don’t take shit” voice.

  He thumbs through the few pages attached to his clipboard and finally says, “Valerie Winston plus two, got it.” He finally looks up from his clipboard, our eyes briefly meet, and I notice a smile is spreading across his lips. He motions to another guy all dressed in black, and he helps to escort us through the crowd. Before I make my way past him, he places his hand on my arm. “Hi, I’m Alex.”

  I’m slightly taken aback, search for my voice, and thankfully I quickly find it. “Hi, I’m Jules.”

  “Nice to meet you, Jules. Be careful in there—it’s packed, and it can get pretty rowdy sometimes. If you need anything, you find one of my guys, and he will help you or he’ll get in touch with me, and I’ll be there as well.” He smiles.

  “Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind.” I quickly try to catch up with Tracy and Val after our strange interaction.

  “Don’t forget,” he yells as I make my way inside. I give him a small smile.

  I enter the club and find Tracy and Val standing nearby. When Alex said it was packed, he wasn’t kidding. There are people everywhere; people drinking, people dancing, people doing things that should be reserved for a bedroom in some instances. Tracy and Val are whispering something to each other, and I am suddenly feeling more nervous and anxious than before. You can do this. You can definitely do this. I notice they look up, and I hear Tracy squeal and then start to walk toward the stairs to the right of the dance floor. When I finally look up, wondering what has her spazzing out—again—that’s when I see him. Dash. Our eyes meet, and I am held captive once again, imprisoned by his piercing blue eyes. And in that moment, that exact moment his eyes meet mine, my nerves are gone; I feel a wave of peace wash over me. I know for some odd reason everything will be okay, everything is okay. Something in his eyes tells me I am right.

  A SMILE EASILY spreads across my lips as I continue to stare at him. His lips twitch, and that crooked, sexy smile stretches across them, making me melt for the… I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve melted tonight at the hands of Dash Ford. It is the sexiest smile I have ever seen. He nods his head, and his smile grows. And in his eyes, there’s this playfulness—they’re smiling too. It takes me a little while to will my legs to move. I feel as though I am glued to the floor, unable to move because of him. Finally, I clumsily make my way through the packed sardines of people, following Tracy and Val.

  As I climb higher, doubt starts to fill me. Tonight has felt so surreal. This really can’t be happening to me. What I think I see between us isn’t real. My eyes are playing tricks on me. He’s probably being nice because he and the rest of the band are in a new working relationship with Val. And Val is amazing at what she does; there’s no doubt she is going to take the band to the top—everywhere. He’s definitely just being nice, even though he did call me Sunshine and kind of came on to me. Or at least I think he was coming on to me. I just don’t know anymore—doubt is a tricky bitch. He probably comes on to every girl he meets—he’s a rock guy after all, and from my understanding, they are big flirts. I convince myself our interaction was nothing out of the ordinary for him, even though it was for me, and walk cautiously up the stairs.

  As I reach the landing, my heel catches on the top rung and I fall forward, but before I can hit the ground sprawled out in utter embarrassment, Dash’s strong arms catch me in an instant, surrounding me with his warmth. My body begins to relish in the fact that he’s temporarily holding me, and of course my mind has gone completely blank because I feel his breath on me. As I inhale, I smell something like the ocean mixed with a distinct scent that I can’t pinpoint, but is all Dash. It’s soapy and manly and warm and inviting.

  My mind is reeling, and I realize that I haven’t actually moved since I fell. I scramble to stand upright, ultimately pulling myself away from his protective embrace. I inhale deeply one last time because quite honestly, I seriously doubt I will get that close to him again. My God, I think I’m turning into Tracy.

  Mmmmmmm.

  “You’re pretty ‘Mmmmm,’ yourself,” he breathes inches from my face, leaving me in a fog.

  “I said that out loud?” I feel the ever-present heat of embarrassment on my cheeks.

  Dash leans in, his lips grazing my ear. “Only I heard you.” He pulls away and gives me that drop-dead, panty-dropping, sexy smile.

  “Great.” I feel my cheeks flush even more, and my nervousness about everything feels so tangible, like I could just hold hands with it.

  “You’re super sexy when you’re flustered. Besides, you feel good in my arms—damn good. Glad you fell into them. And feel free anytime tonight to do it again.” He’s teasing. I know he has to be teasing me. But when I look up into his eyes, there’s no teasing in them; all I see is deep, dark desire. The steel-blue color has deepened—darkened. A shiver chases up my spine as I continue to stare and get lost in them.

  I peer over at Tracy and Val, and the looks they both are giving are similar and very indecipherable. I’m having difficulty understanding what just happened. I mean, I know I tripped—big surprise there—and couldn’t control my mouth, as usual, but the flirty interaction with Dash is something I can’t seem to wrap my brain around. I pull myself together when Dash leans into me, his s
cent invading my senses, and I swear to God I feel dizzy and swoon. Yep, I’m swooning. “Hang out right here. Don’t move. I’ll be right back.” His breath on my neck sends a new blast of shivers over my entire body.

  “Um, sure, okay.”

  He gives me a pointed look that pins me to the spot. I couldn’t move away even if I wanted to. I am beginning to think that Dash Ford has some voodoo rock star mojo working for him; it’s the only explanation for my behavior. I watch him walk away, and I suddenly feel incomplete, like there’s something missing. I tell myself I’m being stupid, that there is no reason to feel this way, but for whatever reason, I don’t believe myself.

  There are only a dozen or so people in the VIP section, but it’s filling up quickly. I notice the leggy supermodel over in the corner talking to Roland, and I suddenly feel totally out of place. I now know looking at the blond that she is probably the type of woman Dash is interested in. He was just being a flirty rock guy; he is just being a flirty rock guy. I repeat this over and over again in my head, which is pointless. I secretly wish I had another apple martini, or anything for that matter because, well, if I am going to have to subject myself to any further humiliation, I would like to do so feeling a little or a lot buzzed. At least then I can blame it on the alcohol and not my ineptitude.

  From out of nowhere, Dash reappears and hands me a drink, as if he read my mind. “I thought you might like a drink, Sunshine. I hope a Cosmo is okay?” He hands over the elixir even though it wasn’t the one I was wishing for. His fingers graze mine as I take the drink. A tingle zips from our connection and travels throughout my entire being.

  “How did you… thanks, it’s perfect.” I eagerly take the drink from him and practically down it in one gulp. It’s not as sweet as the apple martini from earlier; it has a stronger bite that slightly burns as it goes down. My belly starts to feel warm.

  He leans in, his face dangerously close—so close if I turned my head slightly, our lips would brush. “You might want to pace yourself, Sunshine. I would hate to have you pass out on me because of alcohol and not because of…” he trails off, whispering in my ear, and I feel myself tremble from the contact, my insides feeling like a puddle of goo. I wonder if he notices.

  A rumble emanates from his chest. Yep, he notices all right.

  “Right, pace myself…” But right now all I want to do is feel something other than what I am feeling. Dash has me out of sorts. My mind and body are at war with each other, so I down the rest of the drink, hoping to give one or the other the advantage. At this point, I don’t know which I want that to be.

  “Okay, then.” He takes a sip of his beer, shaking his head, and smiles down at me.

  “Hey, Jules, get your sexy little ass over here,” Val yells and motions for me to join her and Tracy. Her “sexy little ass” comment has the heat on my face build up again, but I squash it as best as I can before it exposes me. I pull myself together and away from Dash. Away from Dash. My body once again feels the overwhelming need to turn around and be right back by his side. For the life of me, I still can’t figure out why he is having this extreme effect on me. Yes, he’s gorgeous, sex on legs, talented as hell, but still I have been around very good-looking guys before, famous chefs even, but I have never reacted this way. Never.

  “What?” I feel annoyance exude from me.

  “Ooooh, is Jules a little annoyed that I pulled her away from her man?” Val taunts.

  “He’s not my man.” I know what she’s trying to do, but it won’t work.

  “Oh, he’s your man all right.” Val’s eyes twinkle with mischief; she’s playing me right now.

  “Again, he’s not my man.” I won’t play this game. This game holds hope and probably heartache. I know Val thinks differently, but she’s wrong. Dead wrong.

  “You keep thinking that. We see what’s unfolding right before our eyes.” Val motions between herself and Tracy.

  “Whatever. Just fucking drop it, please.” I don’t think I can handle anymore teasing, especially since he is just several yards away.

  “Fine, I’ll… we’ll drop it for now, but we are not letting you off the hook. We will definitely address this when it’s just the three of us.” I really hate when she does this kind of thing because she won’t let me off the hook. At least I don’t have to deal with this shit now. I can get myself together and take whatever she and Tracy have to dish out later, hopefully being able to give it right back.

  A new song pulsates throughout the club, and Tracy squeals. “Oh, I so love this song. We’re hitting the dance floor, girls.”

  Val puts down her drink, and the two of them just stare at me like we are about to have some kind of old western showdown at high noon. I know what they are thinking; they are thinking that they’re going to get my ass out on that dance floor, but they are sorely mistaken. I hate dancing. I know this; they know this. I plant my feet and cross my arms over my chest, ready for the battle.

  “Jules, we are here to have a good time. When was the last time you had a good time? Wait… don’t answer that, because both of us can. It’s been way too long. Look, the dance floor is really crowded, and chances are the mass of people alone will keep you upright if that’s what you’re worried about. We are having an amazing night. Let’s continue it together.” Tracy’s expression is one of compassion and determination.

  I look between her and Val and know she’s right. Tonight was to be different than any other night of my existence. Breaking old habits, old patterns. I drop my arms and put down my empty glass. “You know what? You’re absolutely right. Why the hell not. Let’s go dance til our legs fall off.”

  The three of us make our way toward the stairs, passing Lance and Vic. Tracy, being Tracy, can’t resist the urge to flirt. “Don’t worry, we’ll be back.” Tracy winks at Lance.

  Lance simply smiles, raising his drink, and then they turn their attention to a group of people nearby. However, I notice him turning around quite often, watching Tracy walk away. I wonder… We reach the stairs, and Dash is there waiting. As I make my way past him, he reaches for my arm, gently holding me in place.

  “Be safe. I wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself out there.” His voice is velvet as it wraps itself around me, protecting me. Once again, I feel wobbly and my mind is foggy.

  I compose myself. “I’ll try.” My voice sounds raspy and breathy.

  “Well, if I see you need help, I’ll be right there, Sunshine.” His eyes burn into me, and that crooked smile is back.

  Sunshine? Why does he keep calling me Sunshine? And why do I like it so much? Okay, be flirty and sexy. “I think I can manage, but you never know.”

  As I turn to leave, he brushes his slender, skillful fingers down my arm and grabs my hand. I feel a spark ignite deep within, setting me ablaze. It slowly smolders and then burns its way throughout my entire body, practically leaving me feeling like a pile of ashes. He hesitantly loosens his grip on my hand, gives it a squeeze, and then lets me go, allowing me to leave. Wow! I carefully make my way down the stairs, feeling him watching me, praying the entire time that I don’t fall, although a part of me wonders what would happen if I did need to be rescued. Would Dash be there in an instant, holding me tightly against him—against what I can only imagine is an amazingly built body? Get a grip!

  Without incident, I descend the stairs and then quickly spot Tracy and Val, who are making their way to the middle of the dance floor. I dodge my way through the endless writhing bodies and meet up with my girls. The music is pulsating, causing my body to vibrate, and I can’t help but move to its rhythm. For the first time, I think I am actually enjoying dancing.

  A new song comes on, and I am really beginning to feel the effects of drinking that cocktail a little too fast. I should have known better, but right now I really don’t care. I sway my hips and toss my head back, feeling the beat move me. It’s almost as if I have become a marionette and the song is pulling my strings. As the song continues, I find myself not caring about anything
except feeling good.

  Before I know it, our little trio has expanded. Two random, yet extremely good looking guys have joined my girls. I give them some space, moving further into the crowded dance floor. The music pulsates around me, causing my body to become more heated with each movement I make. I feel strong arms wrap around me. “What do you think you’re doing?” a deep voice whispers in my ear. Hands grip my around my waist with a possessiveness, biting into my skin, and my mind begins to reel and panic begins to creep in, possessing the far corners of my mind and body.

  “What the fuck are you doing? I’ve been watching you tease me all fucking night, and I’m not going to let it happen anymore.” His fingertips dig further into the flesh on my hips; I’m sure there is bruising.

  My heart beats wildly against my chest. This isn’t happening. This isn’t real.

  “Do you not know what it does to me knowing that everyone man in here wants to fuck what’s mine? Or is that your intention? To be a little cock tease to everyone and throw it in my face?” His fingers painfully pinch and twist my skin.

  Darkness wavers on the outskirts, threatening to pull me under. I can’t breathe. There isn’t enough air in here. I need… I need…

  “Blake, you’re really hurting me.” My voice wavers and quivers; something that initially felt so right has turned terribly wrong. “I’m hurting you? I’m hurting you? You fucking slice me to pieces when you pull fucking stunts like this. You’re mine, Julia, and no one else’s. Do you fucking understand that? I will kill anyone that touches or even looks at what is mine. I will kill them.” His harsh words rumble through my ear and go right into my heart. I know he’s speaking the truth. I know he is.

  I tremble and try to break free, but I’m frozen. I can’t move. My body is cemented in place. I need air. There’s no air.

  He leans in close, leaving no space between us. I feel his hard length pressed against my ass. His lips trail up my neck to my ear. He painfully tugs on my lobe, emanating a small cry from my lips. “Now, what to do with my little slutty cock tease? Hmmm? I think a proper punishment is in order for treating me this way. Don’t you think?” I am frozen against him, my mind spiraling out of control. “Answer me, Julia, or things can become… nasty…” Fear tears through me, and all I can do is nod my acquiesce. “Good girl. Maybe next time you decide to come out dancing without me, you’ll know better and be better behaved.”