Sex, Decisions & Rock n' Roll (Redemption Tour #2) Read online

  Sex, Decisions, and Rock N’ Roll

  Copyright © 2016 Michelle Lee

  All rights reserved.

  The right of Michelle Lee to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by her under the Copyright Amendment (Moral Rights) Act of 2000

  The work is copyright. Apart from any use as permitted under the Copyright Act of 1968, no part may be reproduced, in any form or by any means, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either a product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual people living or dead, events or locales is entirely coincidental.

  Cover design by Jada D’ Lee

  Cover images by: @ ersler, @ krivenko, @ londondeposit, @ artem_furman, @ carlodapino through Depositphotos.com

  Formatted by: Angela McLaurin at Fictional Formats

  Edited by: Lynda Martin

  CHAPTER 1

  CHAPTER 2

  CHAPTER 3

  CHAPTER 4

  CHAPTER 5

  CHAPTER 6

  CHAPTER 7

  CHAPTER 8

  CHAPTER 9

  CHAPTER 10

  CHAPTER 11

  CHAPTER 12

  CHAPTER 13

  CHAPTER 14

  CHAPTER 15

  CHAPTER 16

  CHAPTER 17

  CHAPTER 18

  CHAPTER 19

  CHAPTER 20

  CHAPTER 21

  CHAPTER 22

  CHAPTER 23

  CHAPTER 24

  EPILOGUE

  OTHER BOOKS BY MICHELLE LEE

  Whew, what a journey it has been. I first want to thank my family, my beautiful daughter and my sometimes annoying husband, for putting up with me the past year as I found time whenever I could to finish Dash and Jules’s story. Love you both so much.

  To my friends who’ve had to put up with me as I finished writing and rewriting this book. You’ve all been so supportive and I can’t thank you enough. You’ve embraced my crazy need to write and encouraged me when I thought why am I doing this? Thank you!!

  S L Scott, you are an amazing friend and also an amazing mentor. You may not consider yourself in that role, but I do. You’ve been there for me so many times, I’ve lost count. Your encouraging words, your much needed advice and your all around help, has been a blessing. The book gods were definitely shining down on me when you entered my life so many years ago. I fluve you, mega hard, bb!

  Ruth and Kiki over at The Next Step PR, finding and meeting you last year was a godsend. I’ve learned so much and you’ve helped me to take the “next steps” needed in this journey (see what I did there?).

  To all the bloggers out there who’ve been with me through this journey, whether it was my first book or my most recent, thank you so much for your support.

  Lynda, my editor, I swear to you one day I learn what a comma is and how to really use it. Thank you so much for making my words look so much better.

  To all my author friends, some I’ve met, some I haven’t, thank you for your encouraging words and support as we all do this crazy thing called writing.

  And finally to my readers, without all of you, none of this would mean anything. You’ve been beyond patient as I put together the last pieces of Jules and Dash’s story, and I can’t thank you enough for it. Your continued support means the world to me, thank you!

  Michelle Lee lives in the heart of Nascar Country in Concord, North Carolina with her husband and daughter. When she’s not busy working, her days are filled with hanging out with her family and friends, reading, drinking Starbucks, shopping (lots and lots of shopping), and religiously watching the Food Network.

  Keep in touch

  Website: www.michellelleeauthor.com

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  For Channon, the most patient work wife… ever

  “Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and life to everything.”

  ~ Plato

  “Where words fail, music speaks.”

  ~ Hans Christian Andersen

  SURPRISINGLY, MY VOICE is steady—calm. A contradiction to what is happening inside me at the moment. My mind is a whirlwind, trying to vaguely comprehend why Blake is standing in front of me. Why is he wearing a chef’s jacket? Why is the name on the jacket “Becc”? How did he find me? Why is he here? Why can’t I run? My insides shake with fear, but my outward self doesn’t show it. I’ve suddenly become a great actress. He motions for me to take a seat at a table in the middle of the restaurant. I’m hesitant at first, but once I scan the vast, empty space, it isn’t so empty. Wait staff meander around, setting tables and preparing for the evening. I turn and grab my things, my hand instantly feeling for my cell through the soft leather of my purse. I breathe a slight sigh of relief knowing my phone is still within my reach, but a part of me is still worried that no matter happens, I won’t have a chance to get to it. Blake was always a step ahead of me in the past; as I’m sure he is now.

  I move slowly, making sure to keep a table or chair between myself and Blake as we make our way toward the table he suggested. He stays ahead of me but looks over his shoulder to make sure I’m following. When he realizes I am, he gives me this warm smile that I haven’t seen on his lips since we first met.

  I take the seat directly across from him, not sure what to do next. My mind is a whirlwind of activity. My eyes quickly scan the area, trying to come up with as many possible ways to get to the exit if I need to. I don’t think with everyone around Blake would do something stupid, but then again I can’t be so sure. He’s here now, when he should be far, far away. He’s stayed hidden for so long, I can’t help but wonder why he’s here, and why now.

  “I’ve changed.”

  My head whips around to see Blake staring at me. His comment lingers in the air, taunting me. The expression on my face must give everything away because he quickly continues. “You may not believe it, but I have. When I was with you, I was a monster, Julia, and I can’t apologize enough for my actions. You have no reason to forgive me, but I hope with time you will give me the chance to make it up to you…”

  He stares at me with a gleam of hope in his eyes, but as I continue to stare at him, the fine hairs on the back of my neck stand at attention, knowing before I see it. His eyes shift slightly, giving insight to the real Blake, and as soon as it presents itself, it’s gone. I know deep down I saw the truth in his eyes. The truth? He hasn’t changed. His words are just words used to placate me, to put me at ease, to make me trust once again, and yet it’s all a lie.

  “I can see that you don’t believe me, Julia…”

  “Jules, my name is Jules.” I can’t help the anger in my tone. I hate that he still calls me Julia. I hate that he is trying, as usual, to manipulate me. I hate that when I first heard those words out of him, I wanted, for a split second, to believe him. I hate him for being here in front of me instead of hiding under some fungus-ridden rock.

  He smiles, and then it twists slightly into something else, something sinister. “You’ll always be my Julia.”

  Knots twist in my stomach and my skin pricks with goose bumps. It’s not just what he said, but how he said it. I remember that tone. I remember that voice. My body shudders without consent.

  “I still have an effect. Lovely. You remember, don’t you? Of course you do. I must haunt your dreams�
� your nightmares. Tell me, Julia, does your wonderful rock star know about me? Or am I that dirty little secret you keep hidden? Hmmm? Tell me. Tell me you’ve kept me a secret only known to your dreams? Tell me.” His voice is low, threatening. That devilish grin crosses his lips, and in an instant, it’s gone—like it never happened. Blake settles back in his chair, crossing his arms, staring me down. Willing me to speak the truth—to tell him exactly what he wants to hear.

  I won’t let him get to me. I’m stronger than this. I’ve come so far, and I don’t need him dragging me back down that dark hole. I sit up a little straighter, I square my shoulders, and I stare him straight in the eyes. “Dash knows. He knows what a monster you are.” He goes to speak, but I silence him before continuing. “He knows everything you did to me. Every detail. Every horrible, disgusting thing. And you’re lucky…”

  “Lucky?” He doesn’t sound incredulous; he sounds amused.

  “Yes, lucky. Damn lucky he’s clearly on the other side of the world because if he where anywhere else, Blake, you wouldn’t be smiling like you are for very long.”

  “Have you grown some backbone in my absence? I must say, as much as I loved your pathetic, groveling ways, this side of you… this fight gives me pleasure beyond my wildest dreams. Oh, Julia, this is going to be so much fun.” I didn’t expect this from him. He’s being cordial yet cruel at the same time. His demeanor is giving me whiplash—making me feel relaxed and at ease one second, and then on edge the next. Typical Blake. He said he’s changed, but he hasn’t. He’s still the same cruel man I knew. The same man that I thought I fell in love with. The same man that killed my spirit and created the woman sitting before him. But no longer. No longer will I be putty in his hands. No longer will I allow him to manipulate me. No longer.

  “You’re not the only one who’s changed, although I doubt you truly have. You can’t get to me anymore. I won’t allow it.”

  “You won’t allow it?” He looks at me like I’ve lost my mind. Part of me thinks he’s right.

  “No, I won’t. What you did to me, Blake, was deplorable, and I won’t allow it to happen again. You may think that coming out of… hiding or whatever you’ve been doing is going to change things… it isn’t. The police…”

  He cuts me off, leaning forward, his features menacing. “The police? The police? Do you really think after all this time that I haven’t thought about what would happen if, as you said, I came out of hiding? Oh, silly, silly, naïve Julia, I’ve thought of everything. It’s amazing how stupid you still are.” He leans in further, his arms resting on the table. “The police will never find Blake Collins. He’s gone. He’s a ghost of a man now. If they were to question me, they would only find Chef Becc…” He brings his hand up in between us. My body responds by pulling back. “Oh, don’t you fret, my beautiful Julia. I wouldn’t want to harm you here in front of all these witnesses. Again, how foolish do you think I am?” He stares at his fingers as if they’re the most fascinating things in the world. “It’s amazing what money can do. Fall off the face of the earth and come back with a new identity. Old fingerprints erased and then replaced with fresh new ones. Yes, Blake Collins is dead to the world, but Chef Becc is very much alive.”

  I can’t believe what I’m hearing. How is this even possible? I feel like I’ve stepped onto the set of some spy or superhero movie. Is Tony Stark somewhere around here? Or maybe it’s Q? This can’t be real.

  “As much as I love your beautiful mouth, it’s not becoming at the moment hanging open in disbelief… that’s better… and yes, it’s all true. Blake Collins doesn’t exist as you knew him.”

  “That’s where you’re wrong. The monster is still sitting in front of me.”

  Blake leans further, his face closer to me than I would like. I can see the contempt in his eyes, the anger. I don’t know who he’s trying to fool—myself or him. I see the real Blake, whether he claims to be changed and that he’s Chef Becc. I won’t be swayed. I won’t be manipulated. Never again.

  “Don’t push me, Julia. Don’t.” He leans back in his chair, finally giving me the distance I crave. “You came here to interview me, correct?”

  I nod, puzzled by his change in mood—in everything.

  “Well, I suggest we get to it. I’m a very busy man.”

  I open up my notepad and hit record on the recorder. He’s right. I have a job to do. I came here to interview Chef Becc. I push the thoughts that Blake is sitting across from me and focus on the task at hand. “When did you first know you wanted to be a chef?”

  BLAKE, OR BECC, was actually fascinating to interview. I actually forgot from time to time who I was actually talking to. But then, every once in a while, a glimpse of Blake, the real Blake, would shine through, and I would shudder. I wish I could contain my reaction to him. All considering, I think I’ve done pretty well. As I’m gathering my things, a waiter comes over and asks to talk to Blake.

  “Excuse me, Miss Bennett, I’ll be just a moment.” His mask is firmly in place as he steps away with the waiter. I breathe a sigh of relief to have a reprieve. Being in his presence for so long has drained me emotionally and physically. I just want to leave as soon as I can. I’m desperate to get away and call Dash. I really need to hear his voice right now. I just need him. My trip to Italy can’t happen soon enough.

  I finish putting my things away just as Blake is approaching. He doesn’t stop until he’s standing directly in front of me. My heart skips a beat, and anxiety ripples through me. I don’t want him this close. I don’t need him this close. His hand reaches out, and his finger traces an invisible line on my cheek. I wince. “Now, now, don’t be like that, Julia. You’ll hurt my feelings. I remember a time when you craved my touch, begged for it even.” He caresses my chin, his finger leading to my collarbone. “Your skin is still silky soft, just like I remember. I wonder what else I can remember if I continue to do this…” His finger traces along the swell of my breast. My breath hitches, and instinctively I go to swat his hand away. But Blake is quick, and his other hand snatches my wrist. “Tsk, Tsk, Julia. I can’t have you hurting me or yourself… although I must say I am beginning to love this feistiness you have. You’ve become so much more It intrigues me.”

  “Let go.” The words come out through my gritted teeth.

  Blake doesn’t respond the way I want. Instead, he pulls me to him, my arm pinned between us. He leans down so his lips are close to my ear. I close my eyes shut and will my heart to calm down. This can’t be happening. This isn’t happening. I hear him inhale.

  “God, you smell just as intoxicating as I remember.” His breath tickles my ear. He inhales again and then leans in further. His lips brush against the shell of my ear. I feel his tongue flick against my earlobe. This isn’t happening. This isn’t happening. Please, God, let him just stop.

  I take a shuddering breath. “Blake, please…”

  “You don’t always have to beg, Julia. I will give you exactly what you want. Exactly what you need.” His nose skims my cheek, and his lips press gently in that spot right below my ear. “God, I’ve fucking missed you. The smell of you, the feel of you, the taste of you…”

  I attempt to pull away, but it only makes him pull me closer. My heart thunders in my chest. My pulse spikes. making me dizzy. I can’t be here any longer. I just can’t. I close my eyes, willing this to be a dream, when I’m met with vibrant blue. Calming blue. Dash. The blue gives way to that crooked smile. I focus on him and only him, not the man holding me. I feel my heart calming to a normal rate. “I’ve got you, Sunshine.” I wish I didn’t have to rely on him so much, but at this point in time, he’s what I need.

  Just as I’m about to tell him to let me go as calmly as I can, Blake surprises me and grips my chin between his fingers. Blue shatters into nothingness, and when my eyes pop open, I’m staring into an angry brown abyss. “Don’t. Don’t you ever think of him when you are in my arms. Don’t ever fucking think of him in my presence. Do you understand me?”

  I
can’t answer. I can only stare at him in shock. The pressure of his fingers on my chin increases, making me wince. I want to lie to him and tell him I wasn’t thinking of Dash, but he will see right through me. He always did. He always will.

  “Don’t ruin our nice reunion, Julia. I would hate for something to happen. You were always so clumsy when we were together. I wonder if that’s still true. Dare to test that theory?”

  Again, I just stare.

  “Answer me, Julia.”

  “No. I’m fine.”

  He raises an eyebrow, wanting more. I know what he wants. What he always wants from me.

  I avert my eyes and will my voice to say it. “I’m… I’m sorry.”

  “Good girl. Always my good girl.” Blake lets go of my chin and pulls away. I notice hesitation in his movements, but a waiter walks by at just the right time, and he puts much-needed space between us. “Well, I have to get in the kitchen and make sure things are up to my specifications. You know how I don’t like things to be… disappointing. I look forward to reading your article.” He reaches his hand out, waiting for me to the same. When I do, he takes my hand and pulls me close to him. Blake leans down and whispers in my ear, “I know I will be seeing you again, Julia, don’t you fret about that. Oh, and just remember… the police can’t help you. Really, no one can.” He pulls back, giving my hand a tight squeeze before letting go, and walks away.

  Relief washes over me as I begin to make my way to the exit. I can’t get out of here soon enough. Just when I think I’m safe and out of this maddening situation, Blake’s voice stops me in my tracks.

  “She’s very beautiful.”

  I have an idea as to who he’s talking about, but for some reason I ask anyway. “Who?”

  “Nadia.”

  “Nadia?” I want the direction of this conversation to end. I don’t want to know what he thinks. I don’t need him to say another word, yet I turn around and urge him to continue.