FOREVER MINE Read online

  Table of contents

  CHAPTER 1

  CHAPTER 2

  CHAPTER 3

  CHAPTER 4

  CHAPTER 5

  CHAPTER 6

  CHAPTER 7

  CHAPTER 8

  CHAPTER 9

  CHAPTER 10

  CHAPTER 11

  CHAPTER 12

  CHAPTER 13

  CHAPTER 14

  CHAPTER 15

  CHAPTER 16

  CHAPTER 17

  CHAPTER 18

  CHAPTER 19

  CHAPTER 20

  CHAPTER 21

  CHAPTER 22

  CHAPTER 23

  CHAPTER 24

  CHAPTER 25

  CHAPTER 26

  CHAPTER 27

  CHAPTER 28

  CHAPTER 29

  CHAPTER 30

  CHAPTER 31

  CHAPTER 32

  CHAPTER 33

  CHAPTER 34

  CHAPTER 35

  CHAPTER 36

  CHAPTER 37

  CHAPTER 38

  CHAPTER 39

  CHAPTER 40

  CHAPTER 41

  CHAPTER 42

  CHAPTER 43

  CHAPTER 44

  CHAPTER 45

  CHAPTER 46

  CHAPTER 47

  CHAPTER 48

  CHAPTER 49

  CHAPTER 50

  CHAPTER 51

  CHAPTER 52

  CHAPTER 53

  CHAPTER 54

  CHAPTER 55

  CHAPTER 56

  CHAPTER 57

  CHAPTER 58

  CHAPTER 59

  CHAPTER 60

  CHAPTER 61

  CHAPTER 62

  CHAPTER 63

  CHAPTER 64

  CHAPTER 65

  CHAPTER 66

  CHAPTER 67

  CHAPTER 68

  CHAPTER 69

  CHAPTER 70

  CHAPTER 71

  CHAPTER 72

  CHAPTER 73

  CHAPTER 74

  CHAPTER 75

  CHAPTER 76

  CHAPTER 77

  CHAPTER 78

  CHAPTER 79

  CHAPTER 80

  CHAPTER 81

  CHAPTER 82

  CHAPTER 83

  CHAPTER 84

  CHAPTER 85

  CHAPTER 86

  CHAPTER 87

  CHAPTER 88

  EPILOQUE

  ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

  CHAPTER 1

  His footfalls echo in the dark alley. It stopped raining about an hour ago, not that the girl noticed. The heavy damp air did nothing to ease the heat of the summer night. She is sweating and trying, with little success to slow her heart and breathing. The pungent smell of the dumpster she is seeking shelter behind, is causing a headache to form behind her eyes, and a queasy feeling to form in the pit of her already sick stomach. She knows if she makes a sound, retching or otherwise, he will find her. She knows she can’t let that happen. She knows if she does, she will die.

  Sitting and waiting is not something she does well. Taking life by the horns, and wrestling it to the ground is more her style. Well, at least is now. Never again, she told herself, would she be afraid. Yet, here she sits. Waiting. Listening. Cowering. Frightened of the one man who had fooled her, terrified her, abused her, in every way a woman could be abused by a man, and at one time he…loved her.

  She shakes her head and with it she rids herself of the last thought. Thinking of the past, in any positive form will do nothing for her. Those people are dead. The only reason to think of the past is to fuel the hate she has for the man chasing her, and to strengthen all the walls she has constructed around her heart. To make sure no one is ever allowed to be that close again.

  The rain has picked back up as she sat, terrified behind the disguising dumpster, contemplating her past life. The man’s running is getting closer. Just when he sounds like he is right on top of her, a blinding light shoots down the alley from the opposite direction. Following the light is a blue and red flashing strobe light. People are yelling and running toward the girl. A policeman turns the corner a spots her, puts his finger to his lips, to shush her, and walks past.

  She can’t stand it anymore, and is not waiting around to see what happens. Gathering all of her courage; she stands, peeks her head around the edge of the dumpster, and starts to run down the alley toward the street where she can blend.

  Once on the street, fear turns to anger, anger to fury. After everything she has worked so hard for, all the steps she has taken to protect herself, seeing him one time has her hiding like a little bitch. She takes kick boxing, self defense classes, goes to the shooting range. He has no right to have this power over her.

  She takes her cell phone out and calls the number she has called every day. He answers on the first ring. “Are you ok? What’s wrong? Where are you?”

  She smiles to herself; he is the only one she can be soft around. He is the only one who understands. He has been there since it all started, even before it was bad. “Yeah, I know it’s late, sorry. Can you meet me?”

  He sighs. She can picture him running his hands through his black hair, down his face, rubbing his stubbled jaw, blue eyes blood shot from lack of sleep. Reluctantly, he says “yeah.”

  She holds the tears back, barely, and whispers her thanks.

  CHAPTER 2

  There is no need to ask her where we are meeting. We always meet in the same place. She sounded bad. Worse than usual. I wonder to myself as I lie in bed what happened and why do I keep letting myself be sucked in. Yeah, I wonder. I have been in love with that girl since 8th grade when I moved from a happy loving 2 parent home, to a single parent house. Mom can’t pull it together long enough to say hi, let alone be a mom. Dad, well let’s say he was hard to get a hold of once he convinced his girlfriend at work to leave her family and live with him…somewhere. I walked into class and there she sat in her front row seat, beaming at me with the most open smile I have ever seen in my life. I couldn’t keep my eyes off her.

  **********

  The teacher said something about catching up on the book we were reading, I only heard half of what was said because I was trying to figure out if the empty seat near her was empty, or just not being used at the moment.

  When the teacher finished speaking the girl’s hand shot in the air like it was attached to a rocket. She informed the teacher that I could sit by her since the seat was available and she could help me catch up on the reading. The teacher agreed.

  As I walk to my new seat, I can feel all their eyes judging me. I hate it. I feel like I am wearing all of my secrets out in the open, they know about my mom, and for that I feel defensive. She may be having a hard time, but she is my mom and doing her best. I think they know my dad is gone. That somehow we weren’t good enough for him. He has a new life and we don’t fit into it. Just when I think I can’t take it, I need to leave, something touches my arm. I jump a little, and realize it’s her. She is touching my forearm, sliding her hand down to my wrist, and looking at me with absolutely no judgment. My chest aches. I love her for it.

  “This seat is empty.” She says to me. It is the best four words I have ever heard.

  The rest of the class goes back to what they were doing. She is still waiting for me to get acquainted with my new desk and surroundings. I turn and see she’s smiling again, like she has a secret to tell me. I could die in her smile. It lights her face. I have never seen eyes like she has. They start yellow at the center and fade into a light green, like tree buds in the spring, and then they bleed into the deepest green I have ever seen. The sparkle she has in her eye tells me she is not as sweet as everyone thinks.

  I’m settled, finally. It’s hard to fit myself into the chair/desk combo. Last summer I grew. A lot. M
y new height is something I still struggle with. I grew from 5’6” to 6’1” in about 4 months. It hurt, to say the least. “Hi, I’m Brody, Brody Harrison.” I smile and hold my hand out to the girl.

  “Is that like Bond, James Bond?” she asks with a laugh.

  “What?” I’m starting to sweat. Did I have it all wrong? Is she laughing at me? “James who?” I ask nervously.

  “I’m kidding!! You are very serious Mr. Harrison.” She winks at me and I laugh it off. I hope my panic wasn’t obvious.

  “My name is Charlie James.” She beams at me. “I think my parents had wanted a son and were too lazy to pick a different name for me, but I like it. It’s different, like me.” She shakes the hand I feel like has been extended for a lifetime. Her skin is soft. Her hands are a little cold, I want to warm them. I want to give her everything…

  **********

  Stirring form the past I roll over and gently shake the sleeping form to my right.

  “Hey, Steph, I’m going to run out for a bit, ok?” I whisper to my sleeping girlfriend.

  “Yeah, I heard.” She sounds wide awake. “Everytime that bitch calls you go running. What the fuck is wrong with her? She knows you have a life, with a girlfriend, and a home, which she is not a part of!!” She is pissed… again.

  Sighing and preparing myself for our usual fight I get out of bed and get dressed. “You know she has no one else.”

  “And that’s your problem, how?”

  “I’m not fighting with you about this again. She sounded really bad. I won’t be too long.” I lean over to kiss her good bye and get her hand pushing my face away.

  “One day I won’t be here when you get back”

  “I hope one day you will understand why this is important to me, why she is important to me.” Then I walk out the door knowing that what I’m doing to her is wrong and I’m a bastard for doing it.

  When I arrive at the diner, I see she’s already waiting for me. She sits in the back so she can see the whole place. Her eyes scan the diner, watching for anyone that makes sudden movements. When I walk in she visibly relaxes. I love that I can do that for her. I walk closer to the table and she stands and launches herself into my arms.

  CHAPTER 3

  I turn my phone off and shove it in my pocket. I barely kept it together when I was on the phone with him. I feel so selfish always asking him to come to me. I used to just show up at his house, but that was before Steph. She’s a nice girl. Sweet, kind, and loves Brody. You can see how much she cares just by looking at her. I hate her. I’m not sure why, but I hate her. Maybe, because she is everything I once was, everything I want to be, and everything I will never be again. Now that they have moved in together, we meet at different places, away from his house. Away from Steph.

  I turn the corner and find our diner. We started calling it that when we realized how often we met there. Then it became the only place we went. It is open 24/7, has decent food, and nobody cares who you are or why your there. The waitress brings your food, gives refills when needed, and stays away when she’s finished. She gets shitty tips anyway, so why should she go out of her way.

  When I walk in the door, I see my favorite booth in the back is empty, and take a few calming breaths. I sit there so I can watch the people that walk in. Call me paranoid, but it’s what makes me feel safe. I can’t be caught unaware with him still out there.

  I order 2 coffees and wait. The smell of buttery toast, burnt coffee, and eggs brings on an assault of memories of a previous life better forgotten. When I was a girl, not the bitter women that is sitting here now, and he was a handsome boy out with his friends, not the crazy jealous man trying to kill his ex-girlfriend. Fiancé. We almost married. A shiver runs down my spine, making the dull ache in my head return.

  **********

  The group of boys walks into the diner. They are all attractive, confident, and having a really good time. They were still talking about the football game that our high school just won. One of the boys stood out from the others. He has dark blonde hair and light brown, almost gold, eyes. He is around 6’ tall and nicely muscled. I don’t like a lot of bulk. I do like definition.

  He walks up to our table and immediately I’m disappointed because the conversation I had with him in my head, is over and I am positive he is here to talk to my friend, Samantha Montgomery. She is popular and beautiful. She is every 17 year olds wet dream. She is sex on 2 legs, and she knows it.

  She bats her lashes, licks her lips, and pushes her tits up just enough to draw the eye, while looking up at the blonde hunk of man/boy that has approached our table. “Hey, handsome, what can I do for you?” She purrs.

  “Well, you can start by telling me your friend’s name.” he turns to wink at me.

  My heart pounds, my lips and mouth have gone as dry as the Sahara, and I think my lungs stopped working.

  Smiling at him I put on my best Samantha face and say “Charlie. My name is Charlie.”

  “Nice to meet you, Charlie. I’m Michael Ryan Parker. My friends call me Mike.” It was so cheesy and unimaginative, yet I fell for it. Hook, line, and sinker. Mike was the most charming boy I had ever met in all of my 17 years. I couldn’t get enough.

  The rest of the night was a blur. Our groups joined up and had a blast sitting in the diner discussing football, baseball, and the plus and minuses of being a wrestler. All of which, I could care less about, but as long as Mike kept talking, I would pretend to be interested. So I listened with all the enthusiasm of an avid fan and commented where I thought I knew enough to not sound amateurish.

  Later in the evening, Brody showed up with the flavor of the week and they too joined our misfit group. There were so many of us we had to take two booths. We stayed out until curfew, and Mike offered to drive me home. I was thrilled. Brody decided it was a good time for a lecture about taking rides with strange boys. Not wanting the joyful feeling to end I ignored him and left with Mike.

  At my front door Mike sweetly kissed my cheek saying what a wonderful time he had and he would like to see me again. We exchanged phone numbers and made plans for the next weekend. I said good night, went inside and called Brody and Sam to let them know I was home and safe. Thankfully Brody’s phone went straight to voicemail, Sam and I talked for awhile. I briefly filled her in on the ride home and our plans. I took a shower, dried my hair, and tried to quiet my frantically beating heart enough to sleep.

  **********

  The sound of the diner door opening and closing woke me suddenly from my day dreams. Anxiously, I take in my surroundings, furious that I wasn’t paying attention when I see him. He is walking slowly toward our table. I breathe a sigh of relief, and stand to greet him, and before I can think about the reasons, I launch into his arms. His smell surrounds me. I’m home. I have been here a thousand times before and yet everytime feels better than the last. When will I ever stop needing this man? I am such a selfish Bitch.

  “Shhh, I got you. I’m right here. You’re safe, now.” He strokes my hair and whispers into my neck.

  After a couple minutes I untangle myself from Brody and motion to our booth. “Come on we better sit I have a lot to tell you.”

  CHAPTER 4

  She feels so good in my arms, like they were made just for this purpose. Does she feel how I’m trembling? I wonder if she knows the lengths I am willing to go to make sure she is safe. I won’t let her out of my life. If this is the only way I can have her, I’ll take it.