See Me Read online

  “I don’t think so,” she replied with the sadness I was beginning to associate with her.

  “You are a ghost,” I told her. “Am I right?”

  She nodded, looking down at her folded hands in her lap. I took a little more notice then to try and figure out how long she’s been one without having to ask the question. Her clothes could have been from any time period. She was wearing jeans and a V-necked shirt, long sleeved. Her shoes were Chucks, so that didn’t give me a whole lot to go on either. She just appeared ageless. Striking, but ageless.

  “You are studying me, looking for answers to questions you don’t want to ask,” she said, still looking at her hands. “It’s okay. You can ask them.”

  She wasn’t wrong, I had been studying her, I just wasn’t aware she knew I had been doing it since she wasn’t looking up. “I can ask those questions later, I think there are more important things I need to know first,” I said, deciding to jump feet first into this very weird situation I found myself in. “I’ve never been able to see a ghost before, I’m not sure why I can now.”

  “Do you have to see something in order to believe it?” she asked.

  “No. For me, that’s a hard no. I’m willing to take leaps of faith to believe in things that I can’t see. But that doesn’t mean I understand it,” I carefully answered. It was true though; I was one of the few people that I knew of that would just accept things without having to see it. “Just because I can’t see something, doesn’t make it not true, and because I can see it, doesn’t mean it’s real. I tend to go by what I feel.”

  “What do you feel?” came her anticipated quiet question.

  “Well right now, I am feeling everything that you are feeling, and that makes you quite real to me. I’ve found emotions don’t lie, they can be misleading when you don’t understand where they are coming from, but they don’t lie,” I told her. I moved closer to her where she was sitting on a fallen tree. “May I sit?”

  She nodded and swept her hand out in a go-ahead gesture. “You glow,” she said, looking at me.

  Thrown off guard a second, I must have given her a strange look because she chuckled. “I glow?” I asked with a what the fuck tone to my voice.

  “That’s why I think you are an angel,” she answered in a matter of fact voice. “I have seen a few, and you have the same glow as they do. It’s light. It’s inviting, and warm. It feels safe, like love.”

  I snorted at that and couldn’t stop the words from coming from my mouth even if I had tried. “Love is anything but safe.” I looked down at the ground, angry with myself for letting that slip. “So, are we on a time limit?” I asked, changing the subject.

  “What do you mean?” she asked, curious.

  “Well I assume this takes energy, and I assume that you have limited amounts of that, being a ghost,” I said, studying her again.

  “I suppose that would be true, but there is an energy here that I can draw from that doesn’t feel like it has a limit,” she told me.

  Thinking back to my cleansing moment on the other side of the bridge I guess I could understand that. I nodded and looked at her again. She was studying me this time, and again, the words just came flying from my mouth, “I’m not an angel.”

  She looked like she wanted to argue with me but must have picked up a facial cue from me because she gave me a curt nod and dropped it. We sat there in silence for a few minutes. It wasn’t uncomfortable, and while we weren’t talking, I took the time to see what else I could feel from her.

  I pulled up the walls I used to block my emotions from others and dropped all the other ones I put up to keep everything else out. Instantly energy from all around me bombarded me with such force I almost fell off the log. I quickly put walls back up and dropped only one at a time until I was just getting her. It was still strong but filtering out the earth energy which was potent here, helped.

  I will still picking up the sadness the strongest, along with lesser feelings of anger and fear. There was a bit of grief, and below it all was a tiny little strand of hope. I grabbed a hold of that hope and fed my own energy into it until it glowed brighter and was more substantial. She gave me a look, and I knew she understood what I was doing, but that little bit was enough to change her appearance.

  Her eyes really were blue. With the blue glow she emanated they became mesmerizing pools you could drown in. The little hope I gave her changed her from striking to absolutely beautiful. I gave her a gentle smile, and she sighed. Not a sad sigh, but a sigh that spoke of letting go. “Thank you,” she murmured.

  “I can take the rest of that away from you and just leave the hope,” I prodded, wanting to help.

  “No, I just needed the hope to be real,” she said wistfully. “Do you believe in destiny?”

  I sighed, thinking about it carefully before answering. “Maybe. I believe that some things have been foreseen by those with the sight to be able to see it, but I don’t believe that the outcome is set in stone. I believe that people make their own destiny. While it may have been destined for me to be here talking with you in this moment, the outcome is ultimately up to me. I can choose to walk away and not speak to you anymore, or I can choose to hear you out. Both of those will have different outcomes. Also, no matter which I choose, the options of that choice will also vary. Maybe one of those choices will lead me to what someone has predicted will happen, and maybe it won’t. In any case, whatever scenario happens is my choice, and yours. You can choose not to tell me why you called me here, and again, the destiny changes.”

  “You are the first person to be able to see me. I’ve been searching for twelve years, all over, and you were the only one strong enough,” she said with wonder in her voice. “You are quite strong, far stronger than I ever was.”

  Startled by her declaration a bit, I latched on to the only thing that stood out to me, “Twelve years? Is that how long you have been a ghost?”

  She nodded but refused to allow the topic change. “I don’t think you understand just what you are capable of. Your strength is what brought me here after years of searching. It drew me in like a siren song. Your strength wrapped around me like a warm jacket on a frigid winter night. I was powerless against it. But, I can’t get around your walls to learn you like I want to. There is something unique about you. I need you to understand that, I need you to be open to possibilities that you might not want to accept.”

  She couldn’t read me? It seemed to me like she was doing a damn good job of it. I hesitated, but drew in a breath and asked anyway, “Strength meaning what?”

  She looked at me like she was confused, and her voice was heavy with question, but she answered me bluntly, “You.”

  “I’m not following,” I told her, shaking my head.

  Her eyes grew wide with understanding. “You as a whole. You literally shine with it. I told you earlier, you glow. I was not kidding. Your strength shines right out of you in so many forms. It’s so potent that I don’t get why it has taken me this long to find you.”

  I’m not one for talking about myself, so this was making me uncomfortable, and I was working hard at not letting it show, because I didn’t want to give away too many things about myself. Especially to a stranger who also happened to be a ghost, that in my own opinion, saw way more than I wanted her to. I didn’t have anything to say to that, so I just shrugged at her.

  “I have tried communication with hundreds of empaths. At most, the strongest one felt some of my emotions, but that was it. I had to exert so much energy to even make that happen, I had all but given up. The universe is funny that way. It took me almost giving up in order to see the beacon you put out, figuratively speaking. I was halfway around the world when you hit my radar. Since I had no idea where you actually were, I just had to keep moving in the direction I thought I felt you, and wait for more signals. I don’t claim to understand it any more than you do, but it is what it is. I’m here, and now so are you,” she said, watching me intently.

  I made my face rel
ax, not wanting to give anything away. I still didn’t know anything about her, or why she called me here. Or even how. I was so far out of my comfort zone that it felt like I was losing my mind. Not even realizing I was speaking aloud as I thought it, I said, “Is this a dream? Am I dreaming right now?”

  I felt a blast of very dense and cold air against my cheek and flinched. When I looked over, I saw her pull her hand away. “Nope, not dreaming,” she chuckled.

  “Did you just touch me? Is that what I just felt?” I asked, trying not to feel shocked.

  “Hi, my name is Gwendolyn, but my friends call me Winnie,” she said with a genuine smile and held her glowing blue hand out to me.

  I stared at it for a moment, then tried to shake it as I mumbled, “Hi, did you know you are glowing blue?” I widened my eyes with the realization of what I just said. “Shit. Sorry. Hi Winnie, nice to meet you, I’m Airiella, though most of my friends call me Airy.” My hand passed right through hers, though I could feel where it was.

  She laughed, “Awkward handshake out of the way.”

  A noise to my left that sounded like someone approaching us made me jolt around as I saw Winnie blink out of existence. I held my breath and waited for more noise. Suddenly a dark shape was coming right at me and I bolted upright fumbling for my flashlight and shone it right into a pair of glowing eyes.

  Waiting for my brain to catch up to my vision, what I saw had me bursting out in laughter. A racoon was sitting in front of me on its hind legs with his front legs sticking straight out like he was impersonating a zombie. He made a chittering sound at me, and I quieted down as I watched the sharp claws. I had a moment of panic that I was about to be clawed to death. He didn’t move, so I didn’t either.

  Winnie must have popped back in because I heard her laughing at the same moment that the raccoon tipped his head to the side and looked at her weird. “See? Must be an angel, even raccoons come up to you.”

  “I’m not an angel,” I growled at her, getting annoyed. “I’ve got plenty of stains on my soul.”

  Her laughter grew quiet and I could feel her studying me, though I didn’t take my eyes off the raccoon eying us. They were cute creatures, but they could be mean and devious little bastards. I did not want to get clawed. “He won’t hurt you Airy, it’s okay.”

  “How could you possibly know that?” I asked.

  “I can read him. There is no harm in his intent. I think he is just curious about you. I don’t blame him, as I am too. If you let down some of your walls, you’ll be able to read him too,” she explained.

  “Dammit, I have no idea if this is a ploy by you to get me to let you in or not,” I spat out in frustration, not even realizing that I was starting to show emotion. She was getting to me.

  “In life, I was strong. I had a strong talent in clairvoyance, a minor one in empathy, and a few mystic types said I could read destiny, though, I am not sure that I agree with that. Regardless, I had more power than most people and picked up things quite easily. I’m still strong, even in death, but less so than I was. My power level isn’t even remotely close to what yours is at. I promise you, I will not attempt to read you, or get in your head without your permission. I can’t help what bleeds out of you past your walls though; that is out there for anyone to see. Let down your walls and focus on the raccoon, you’ll see he is just very curious about you,” she said gently.

  “Fuck. Fine. I’m trusting you,” I said and slowly sat back down. I dropped a couple more walls and was once again bombarded with several emotions. I started to breathe deep and sort through them, and sure enough, I found a little warm curiosity. I wondered what would happen if I fed that curiosity, and slowly started to pour some of my energy into that strand. I watched as the little guy twitched and lowered his front feet to the ground.

  “Careful,” Winnie said into my ear. “He’s not the only one curious.”

  I ignored her for a moment and held the strand of curiosity still, waiting. He twitched again and took a step towards me. I focused my energy on a feeling of trust, and fed that into little guy and inwardly smiled as he took another couple of steps towards me until he was right in front of me. “Hi little guy, we won’t hurt you,” I crooned at him. I dared a glance over at Winnie and saw her watching me with a look of amazement on her face.

  The raccoon looked at Winnie, and back at me. He leaned forward and smelled me, his front paws landing on my shoes. Seemingly satisfied at what he found, he turned around and sauntered off, tail twitching. I felt laughter bubble up in me and let it out quietly.

  “Put your walls back up, now!” Winnie whispered into my ear in fright.

  I slammed my walls back up and looked around frantically, wondering what she saw that made her scared. “What’s going on?” I asked quietly.

  “Is it only me you see?” Winnie questioned.

  “Well you and the raccoon that just left, yes. Why?” I asked, still looking around.

  “We aren’t alone. You might only be able to see me, but I see seven others. You are drawing them out,” she explained.

  “People? Or ghosts?” I asked as I touched my waistband to make sure my gun was still there.

  “Ghosts, like me. It’s weird you can only see me. But, with your walls down it would be easy for them to latch on to you. I could feel your emotions without having to try,” Winnie said. “You are still healing from being hurt badly by someone,” she said, her voice kind.

  “I am assuming you didn’t call me here to talk about me, so let’s drop that shitty train of thought please,” I retorted defensively. Mentally I was reinforcing those walls as I continued to look around for signs of others. I was acutely aware of being a lone, living female, alone out in the woods at night.

  “I’m sorry, I wasn’t intruding, that was just what hit me. You’re right though, that isn’t why you are here. When I was alive, I was in a relationship that I fully believed would last a lifetime. The love I had for him was pure, and strong, until suddenly it wasn’t. I was in an accident, and lived long enough for him to get to the hospital where they took me. I don’t know if he is aware of what he did, but he bound me to the earth before I died. He promised that he would find my soul, and stay with me forever.” She sighed deeply, and I could feel the overwhelming love and sadness she carried in her words.

  “I’m stuck here. I can’t find peace; I can’t move on. I’m stuck watching him spiral out of control. He didn’t bind me to himself, but, in whatever he did, I am bound to the earth. And I always feel his emotions. No matter where I go, they go with me. It’s tainting the love I have for him, darkening it, twisting it. If I had a body, I would be in physical pain all the time. I called you here for help. Help me figure out how to undo this. I want to move on. Twelve years of this, I’m a slave to his emotions. It’s a cage, trapping me and killing my soul. I don’t want to be stuck here forever, getting darker and darker, or to have to move on and remember him and his love in this way,” she said, her words rushing out in a mad dash for escape. Pain coloring her eyes and changing the blue of her glow.

  My heart broke at the weight of her sadness, tears running down my cheeks unchecked. “I’m not a medium, I don’t know how to help you or undo this. I’m at a loss here Winnie,” I choked out.

  “You gave me hope, it’s a start. You can see me. You are the only one,” she whispered.

  “I can help by taking some of the darkness from you,” I said. “Share the sadness with me, allow me to carry the burden. I have ways of releasing it,” I explained.

  “What happens if I let you take it and I can’t remember him?” she said, her voice breaking.

  “I’m not taking the love, that will always remain. I can’t take that. It’s not mine,” I told her.

  “The darkness isn’t yours either, it’s mine to bear,” she whispered forlornly.

  “This is just an assumption, but I am guessing that the accident that killed you wasn’t your fault. So how is this your burden to bear? You didn’t choose to die,” I
said gently. “Besides, if I am to help you, I would have to meet him, and I would have to pull this sadness from him. Either way you look at it, I am going to have to do it for both of you.”

  “I get the feeling that it has to be at the same time,” she said sadly. “I had a vision of my own death, years before I died. I saw it happen; I didn’t do anything to change it.”

  “That is quite the load to bear. If it was your time, there was nothing you could have done to change it, the path of the accident would have changed and become something else. Sometimes the destiny can’t be changed, regardless of the choices you make to try and change it,” I argued.

  “You are correct, but I also had a vision of you, though I didn’t know it was you, or what you were. And because of your belief about Destiny, I am not going to tell you what this vision was, because I do believe that this is a choice,” Winnie stated.

  The look on her face let me know that this wasn’t the time to push for information on that, but at the same time, the sadness of the situation was weighing heavily on her and I could visually see its effect on her. “Trust me,” I whispered to her, using the soothing voice that gets me results. I reached out to her energy and pulled some of the darkness I saw tangled up around the sadness and pulled it to me.

  She gasped and immediately I felt the oily stain it carried, and how hard it settled on me. I instinctively knew this was something I couldn’t hold on to for long without it becoming a danger to me, so I worked fast. I pulled more of the darkness, leaving her with the sadness she clung to. I pulled it and took it on until I saw her color start to get lighter. “He’s been playing with things he shouldn’t be playing with,” she murmured as an excuse for the darkness. “You need to release it as soon as possible.”

  Standing up, I had every intention of doing that, “I don’t like how it feels. If I am going to help you, you must trust me to take what I need to for you to do whatever it is that needs to be done. For now, I have to go. I need to find somewhere safe to let this go,” I said looking around.