Sex, Desires & Rock N Roll Read online

  I push the covers off, my body covered in a sheen of sweat. On unsteady legs I make my way over to my purse and pull out my wallet. Digging into a hidden compartment, I find the weathered card. I’ve held it so many times its worn, it’s lettering fading, its corners no longer crisp. I flick it with my fingers, staring at it as if it’s going to do something, say something. The name and title on the card taunt me, daring me to take that step I’ve never taken. Dr. Hoffman, Psychiatrist specializing in domestic violence and abuse. I take a deep breath and then reach for my phone. After a couple of rings, the call is answered. “Dr. Hoffman’s office. How can I help you?” Another deep breath. “My name is Jules Bennett, and I need to make an appointment.”

  AFTER A LONG, steamy shower, my mind is clear. I was so entranced by talking with Enzo and touring the vineyard yesterday, I forgot to take pictures. Usually I would have a staff photographer with me, but Enzo was very explicit in his directions to Hank. I was the only one to be on the premises, so I have the task of taking photos for the article. Usually I would be bothered by that. I mean, what do I know about photography other than snapping a quick pic with my phone? But even with my lack of experience, I know I will be able to capture something magical. How can I not? The vineyard is quite possibly the most serene and exquisite place on the planet. A monkey could probably take the pictures and capture its essence perfectly.

  As I pass by my suitcase, my steps falter, and I take a look at what I’ve packed. Once. Twice. Three times. Then it hits me. I have nothing to wear tonight. Nothing that screams I have a date with a hot and sexy rock star. I need an outfit. I need something other than what is staring back at me from my suitcase. It’s then I decide that after the vineyard, I’m hitting every boutique in town until I find the perfect outfit.

  “JULES, SO NICE to see you again,” Enzo greets me, taking my hand to his lips and giving it a quick kiss as only a very old Italian man can do.

  “Nice to you see too, Enzo.” I smile back.

  “Whatever you need, cara mia, it’s yours,” Enzo informs me with a warm smile.

  “I just need to take some photos, if that’s all right?” I ask out of respect, even though photos are non-negotiable.

  “Why of course, whatever you need.” Enzo’s arm sweeps out, gesturing to the vast land behind him.

  “You just tell me what you would like me to shoot, and I will. I don’t want to disrespect your vineyard, Enzo.” I don’t want him to feel offended.

  “Cara mia, you could never disrespect my vineyard, unless you decide not to come back. Carlo will show you around, if you don’t mind? I have some things I need to attend to. But please, find me straight away if there is anything you need. And come to the main house before you leave. I will be heartbroken if I don’t get to say goodbye.” He smiles, and his eyes sparkle in the sunlight.

  “Thank you, Enzo, of course I would love to come back, and of course I won’t leave without saying goodbye.” How could I? Hell, I would move in with him if he’d ask. The vineyard and surrounding grounds are beyond anything I’ve ever seen.

  “Fantastic. Carlo, will you show Miss Bennett around?” Enzo calls to Carlo.

  “Yes, sir.” Carlo comes from out of nowhere. He’s a very large man, reminds me of Vic’s size. His slicked-back, black hair shines in the sunlight. His olive complexion plays against his light eyes. I squint up at him and notice they are a pale green.

  “I will leave you in Carlo’s capable hands.” Enzo bows, turns, and leaves.

  Carlo takes me around the property, and it is awe-inspiring. Enzo’s vineyard is the most exquisite one I have ever visited. I must take another trip to Italy to see the one he has there so I can compare. I’m pretty sure they are equally beautiful. I get all the shots I need, that I think will go well with my article. Carlo leads me back to the main house, and I wait for Enzo to arrive. I take in the view from the formal living room, and it is breathtaking. The perspective from the main house is beyond words and so different from any other part of the property. The vineyard sprawls out for acres over rolling hills. The grapevines twist and turn up their trellising, hanging, waiting for harvesting. The air wafts through the French doors, and the smell of earth, sun, honeysuckle, musk, and lavender swirl around my nose. I inhale deeply, taking in the aroma of wine country.

  “Did you get everything you need, cara mia?” I didn’t hear Enzo enter the room.

  “Why, yes, Enzo, thank you, for everything,” I graciously articulate.

  “Oh, it’s been my pleasure. I have been following your career, so to speak, and I was most intrigued to meet you. You are a fascinating young woman, Jules. I look forward to seeing where your promising career takes you.” A genuine smile pulls at his lips, his eyes holding that same genuine sincerity.

  “Enzo, you’re too kind. I look forward to visiting your beautiful vineyard in the future.”

  “I look forward to it, cara mia. And please, when you get the chance, visit my brother in Italy. Our vineyard there surpasses this one.” He gestures for the entryway, letting me know our time is up.

  He opens the massive mahogany door with surprising ease. I take a step out into the Napa air, and my hair gently blows in the breeze. I notice Enzo sniff the air as it swirls around him.

  “Hmmm, it smells like vanilla and lavender. Those aren’t usually noticeable in this part of the property.” Enzo notices.

  I feel my cheeks begin to blaze, and a smile pulls at my lips. “Um, that would be me.”

  “Why, Jules, you’re turning pink,” Enzo says in an amusing tone.

  His comment reminds me of Dash and how he commented he was actually becoming fond of the color pink, thanks to me.

  “Perhaps there’s another reason you’re blushing so. It can’t just be because of your fragrance?”

  The heat on my cheeks intensifies. I’m sure the coloring is deepening. “I was just thinking of someone. Forgive me.”

  “From the blush on your cheeks and the smile on your lips, do I dare say you are thinking of someone special, perhaps a gentleman?” He is very observant.

  “As a matter of fact, yes,” I easily tell him; it’s like talking to a very old friend.

  “If you don’t mind me saying, he is a very lucky young man. I hope he knows how precious you are.” His voice is that of a father talking to his daughter.

  “I don’t know, Enzo, it’s too soon to say. We’ve only just started… seeing each other.” If that’s what you can call it; I’m not entirely sure what Dash and I are at the moment. Friends? More? I really have no clue.

  “Well, cara mia, just make sure he knows. The love you share with someone is a very precious gift. Drive safely, and until next time.” Enzo embraces me and places a small kiss on either check.

  “Thank you again, Enzo.” I wave goodbye as I walk down the path to my car.

  The word love floats around me. Love? Why would he say love? That was weird. Maybe it’s because he’s Italian and they are very passionate people in my experience. The idea of me loving Dash and him loving me is utterly unfathomable; we’ve only just met. Love? I don’t think we are even at that “like, like” stage. I mean, there is a strong attraction, primal even. But beyond that? Love? I shrug off Enzo’s sentiments and drive off in search of the perfect dress for our date.

  I STARE AT myself in the full-length bathroom mirror, taking in the image looking back at me, stunned. I had called Tracy during my shopping excursion because I had become so overwhelmed in the fitting room that I nearly hyperventilated and almost went into a full-blown panic attack. Tracy talked me down and asked for me to try everything on, take a picture of each dress, and text it to her. We… well, Tracy actually… decided on a deep blue wrap-around dress that showed just enough cleavage and leg, but still left things to the imagination. She then told me to go to the makeup counter and pick up some things my makeup arsenal lacked. I had her on speakerphone the whole time I was shellacking my face. Again she asked me to take a picture after I was all spackled, and
she approved. She then proceeded to tell me how to style my hair with Velcro rollers so it would cascade around my face and down my back in full curls. Once my hair was all done, I took another picture and texted it to her. She again approved and then asked for me to take a picture of the entire package. Finally, after a couple of adjustments, I had Tracy’s seal of approval. Now that I was staring at myself in the full-length mirror, I had to hand it to Tracy. She made me look unbelievable even though she was hundreds of miles away. I smile at myself, satisfied and grateful, and head to the living room to wait.

  It’s six fifty-five, and the last five minutes are killing me. I keep trying to find things to busy myself. I turn the television on and just keep flipping through channel after channel, not really paying attention to what is on. I glance at the clock—six fifty-six. Wow, a whole minute passed. When the hell is it going to be seven? I’m jumping out of my skin, beyond anxious to see Dash. I walk over to the stereo, turn it on and spin the dial, slowly going through station after station. Six fifty-seven. Three more minutes. He better be punctual, or I am going to die waiting for him. I go back to the television and start flipping again, just trying to pass time as quickly as possible. As an infomercial for one of those choppy things comes on, capturing my attention with its speedy choppiness, there’s a gentle knock at the door. My heart nearly jumps out of my chest, and I am vibrating with excitement. I practically run to the door, but pause to adjust my dress and give myself the once-over before I open it. I slowly swing the door open, and there standing before me is Dash. My heart takes off, my pulse quickens, and my mind spins out of control. I’m swooning, definitely swooning. He is dressed in a dark, charcoal-gray suit, which is definitely tailor made for him, hugging his muscular form perfectly. His tie is a pale blue, complementing my dress like he knew what I was going to be wearing. When my eyes finally fall upon his face, he is clean-shaven; his hair is its usual perfected disarray and his eyes shine brighter than I’ve ever seen. They dance and twinkle, and the blue from his tie accentuates the color. That crooked, sexy grin captures his lips. I am in awe. How can one man look as devastating as he does?

  “Hi.” My voice is breathy and has a sexiness to it I’ve never heard before. He does that to me.

  “Hi, yourself. You look incredible. Beyond incredible.” His voice caresses me, and I feel my insides coil. His eyes roam my entire body, leaving a tangible heat in their wake.

  I stare at him, unable to utter a single word. His eyes continue to rake up and down, and his finger absently rubs his lower lip. My mind scrambles to think of something to say but the way he’s taking me in is leaving me an incoherent idiot. His eyes slowly travel upward, and we are staring at each other. My chest rises and falls a little faster. Anticipation and nervousness courses through me. Dash drops his hand from his lips, his eyes never leaving mine. “Fuck it.” It’s just a whisper from his lips, and before I can respond, his hands cup my cheeks, pulling his lips to mine. His warm breath tickles my lips. I close my eyes and then his lips are on mine, gentle at first, barely there and then with slightly more pressure. Our lips move together. His lips part, and his tongue sweeps along the seam of mine, gently pushing. I part my lips, and our tongues mingle and swirl around one another. Like a magnet, my body bends to his. His thumbs stroke my cheeks as his tongue continues to explore mine. The kiss is unhurried. I feel as though I could stay like this forever. After several long moments, he pulls away, but his lips still ghost mine, smiling.

  “I’ve been dying to do that all day.” He nibbles my lips a few more times, and then he releases me. I’m surprised I’m able to stand on my own.

  “Hmmmm.” I sigh, unable to contain the way he makes me feel.

  “You have no idea what I want to do to you right now, Sunshine.” His voice caresses me, wraps around me.

  My eyes widen at his declaration, having some idea what he wants to do because frankly, that kiss makes me want to do things to him. I feel my body temperature rise at the thought.

  Dash stifles a chuckle, shaking his head. “Are you ready?”

  My eyes open, and my brain finds a way to comprehend his question even after that kiss. “Ummm… yes… yes, I’m ready. Just let me get my purse.”

  I try to pace myself as I turn to get my purse. If he wasn’t watching me, I would have bolted and sprinted to get it with lightning speed. Not wanting to show my over-the-top enthusiasm about our date, I casually walk and retrieve my purse from the coffee table. It takes everything in me to walk back to him just as casual, but I do nonetheless. I get to the door without incident and pull it closed. He laces his fingers with mine as we head down the hall. I am not really sure where we are going, but I am a little confused when we don’t head to the main entryway out to the valet. Instead, Dash guides me through the hotel to a door that leads to the terrace, which I’m sure any other night is adorned with hotel guests, but tonight it is isolated, except for a few of the waitstaff. Dash, still holding my hand, leads me across the terrace to a beautiful table with crisp, white linens. In the center of the table is a simple flower arrangement of light pink Hydrangeas, surrounded by tiny tea light candles that shimmer, casting their glow like a halo around the arrangement. I think I gasp because Dash leans in, his breath warm and tickling my ear. “Are you okay?” All I can do is nod my affirmation. He has literally taken my breath and rendered me speechless.

  Dash releases my hand, and the warmth that once protected mine is lost. My hand aches to hold his again. He glides to the table and pulls out a chair, offering it to me. I gingerly take a seat, hoping and praying I don’t disturb the beautiful scene before me. Dash then takes his seat across from me. I am stunned by what my eyes are drinking in. The candles on the table, as if sensing Dash’s presence, have cast their halo glow around him, and he looks like he just descended from heaven. I feel my heart stop and my breathing hitch; the man is even more beautiful. Dash smiles at me, his eyes gleaming, and I can’t help but smile back.

  “Everything okay?” he questions again, reaching for my hand across the table.

  I easily slip my hand in his, give him a gentle squeeze. “Dash, everything is perfect, I can’t believe you did all this?” I wave my hand around, emphasizing my point.

  “Being me sometimes has its perks.” He shrugs his shoulders, his eyes cast downward. I get the sense he’s uncomfortable with his fame and success sometimes, like now, and he shouldn’t be. After seeing him perform, and hearing from Tracy bits and pieces of the bands’ struggles, he deserves his success.

  Dash looks up, and that uncomfortableness has disappeared, replaced with that confidence I’ve seen. His eyes command attention. I’m getting lost in his eyes when a waiter approaches the table with a bottle of wine. He pours some into a glass and offers it to Dash. Dash looks at the glass, not really sure what to do, and then waves it off to me. “The lady is the expert.”

  The waiter offers me the glass. It’s a stunning glass of Cabernet Sauvignon, the deep, rich, berry-red color intensified against the crisp white linens of the table. I take the stem of the glass and gentle swirl the magnificent contents around, allowing its aroma to bloom. I then lift the glass to my nose and inhale deep and sharply. The scent of currants, cherries, bell peppers, and green olives float around the air surrounding me. I can note each one separately, and then with another sniff they all harmonize together in a glorious scent that only this wine can elicit. I take a sip and inhale the wine like a backwards whistle and move it around my mouth, making sure every taste bud is coated. I am acutely aware of the sweetness, saltiness, bitterness, and acidity lingering in my mouth, and I savor its boldness. This wine is perfect. I nod my head in agreement with Dash’s selection, and the waiter pours him a glass as well. When my eyes find his again, Dash is just staring at me, his mouth partly open with an inquisitive expression.

  “Sunshine, that was totally sexy and erotic. I’ve never seen anyone do that with wine before.” Dash rakes his hand through his hair. I notice his chest rises and falls a litt
le faster, and his eyes have darkened.

  “Thank you? Wine is just a big part of what I do for a living. I didn’t mean to…” Before I can finish, Dash interrupts me.

  “There is no reason to apologize, if that’s what you were about to do. I can appreciate someone who enjoys his or her career thoroughly. You are just amazing beyond words.” And with that, he pulls out that crooked grin, and I can’t help but feel at ease once again.

  “So, I think a toast is in order, don’t you?” Dash asks, lifting his glass.

  “Sure. What should we toast to?” I raise my glass as well.

  “How about to new beginnings, first dates, and taking things slow?” He cocks his head to the side.

  “Perfect. To new beginnings, first dates, and taking things slow,” I reiterate, clinking my glass to his.