Sex, Desires & Rock N Roll Page 20

  Russell goes out the back door, while Dash and I linger in the hallway. Seconds later, Russell comes back in. “All clear. Have fun on Rosie, Jules.” He continues back down the hall, his laughter echoing off the walls.

  Dash stops at the door, turning to face me. “Trust me?”

  It’s a question he doesn’t even have to ask because I do trust him—completely. “Completely.” The smile that graces his lips makes my heart skip a beat, and my stomach does a flip. The man is beautiful and completely undoes me. Before I know it, Dash has me pressed up against the wall, his lips devouring mine. One hand is tangled in my hair at the base of my neck while the other cups my cheek, this thumb caressing my cheek. His tongue nudges against my lips, and without hesitation I open up to him. Our tongues tangle and twist, his seeking dominance. Dash presses into me, my body practically becoming one with the wall and him. His hard length presses against me, and knowing that I have this effect on this deliciously sexy man elicits a guttural moan from me. My hands wrap around his neck, pulling him impossibly closer. The air within the small hallway seems to have intensified in degrees. My skin feels red hot, the flames of desire flicker all over me. I want Dash. I need Dash. The ache in my core magnifies that need and want. Dash pushes his leg between mine like he knows what I need. Seeking the friction it desperately needs, my hips gyrate, getting his jean-clad leg to hit just the right spot. Another moan floats into the air, and I can’t tell if it’s from me or him. We are a tangle of limbs, our hands getting greedy and begin to tug and pull, caress and massage wherever they can. My sex continues to grind against him, and I know I should be embarrassed. I know I probably look like some groupie slut, but at the moment I don’t give a tiny rat’s ass. My body knows it needs this release—a release only Dash can give me.

  A clearing of a throat stops us dead in our tracks. “Sorry, man. I didn’t know you were still here.” I hear footsteps retreat back from where they came from.

  Dash kisses me deeply before pulling away. My body screams at me. I was getting there, that wonderful release was right in sight, but—poof—gone before it ever had a chance.

  “Fuck. That should never have happened like that. I’m sorry, Sunshine, I wasn’t thinking. Well, I was thinking of something, but not what I probably should have been. I know it’s hard for you to trust, but hearing you say you trust me was my undoing. I shouldn’t have done that…”

  My finger to his swollen lips silences Dash. He quirks an eyebrow, questioning me. “Now it’s my turn to say don’t. Don’t ever apologize for kissing me, for making me feel like I am the most wanted woman in the world. Just don’t. Are we clear?” I give him a challenging eyebrow right back.

  “You got it.” He pecks my lips once, then twice, as he pulls me out the door and into the night where I meet and fall in love with Rosie.

  DASH ACTUALLY HAS a house. A beautiful house set on the lake in Lake Forest Park. I am in awe. The house is bigger than I expected, but then again I didn’t really know what to expect. Maybe a bachelor pad? Maybe something not so grand? Staring out at the house before me, I realize it’s my dream home. It’s the house where I would want to spend my days and night for the rest of my life. It’s the perfect house to raise a family. It’s just perfect, much like the man standing next to me.

  “So, this is home sweet home.” Dash shrugs. His demeanor feels unsure.

  “Dash, it’s…”

  “I know—a bit much. But when I saw it, I knew this was the perfect house for me. Of course it’s super big for just me, but every once in a while the guys will crash here, or my parents stay with me for a visit. I had been looking at a large amount of houses, but none of them felt right until I saw this one. I wanted a house that could turn into a home. A house that I would have and share with the woman I would spend the rest of my life with…” His words linger in the air as we both just stare at it, and it’s almost as if he was just reading my mind. I don’t have the right to get ahead of myself. What is happening between us is new, and the outcome so unknown. We’re like in relationship limbo. That state between we’re kinda dating, but nothing official has been declared.

  “I think it’s perfect.” There are so many meanings behind my words, and every single one of them is undeniably how I feel. It’s perfect because it fits Dash. It’s perfect in its location. It’s perfect for a growing family. It’s just perfect.

  “Ready to see the inside?”

  “Lead the way.” Dash’s hand finds the small of my back as he leads us up the stone path to the house. The house is three stories and is bathed in a warm glow from various landscape lights. The light-colored siding accented with stone makes what could be an intimidating house very inviting. Simply, it’s not a house—it’s a home. We reach the front door in absolute silence. Dash is letting me take it all in. He punches a few buttons on the key pad and the door opens. He motions for me to enter, and when I do, the same cinnamon, homey scent I have in my own wraps around me. I suddenly feel at home. The entrance isn’t as grand as you would suspect. It’s simple, wrought-iron design travels up a flight of stairs to a landing and then continues to the stairs leading to the second floor. I look up, and a beautiful yet simple chandelier hangs overhead, giving off the same warm glow as was outside. Dash’s house is comforting.

  “So, this is the entryway and through that archway is the formal living room. If we go down here it, leads to the kitchen and family room.” Dash points off to the left, and I can vaguely make out the kitchen, which if I’m being honest, the foodie and wannabe chef in me is dying to see.

  “I’d love to see the kitchen.”

  Dash notices my enthusiasm but isn’t surprised by it. Our late night talks have filled him in on my love of all things culinary, and insane kitchens being at the top of the list. Once again, his hand finds the small of my back as he leads me down the hall. I feel the warmth of his touch and it starts to spread out, wrapping around me, making me tremble with need on the inside. We reach the kitchen, and I swear my mouth hits the perfectly worn wood floor. This isn’t just a kitchen—it’s the kitchen. The kitchen that I have depicted in my mind as the one I would build if I could. The kitchen that puts all other kitchens to shame. The kitchen is a chef’s dream. The kitchen of my dreams. I pull away from Dash and slowly make my way around the island, my fingers touching the marble countertop. It’s cool against my heated skin, sending shivers throughout my body. My heart nearly bursts from my chest when I reach the sub-zero fridge and freezer. And then I stop breathing because in front of me is the most beautiful Viking gas range complete with pasta spout in the wall. I’ve died and gone to kitchen heaven.

  “I take it you like it?” Dash’s voice is teasing as it pulls me away from my current attachment to his kitchen appliances.

  I stare at him disbelief. “Like it? Like it? Dash, I freakin’ love it!” I spin back around, eyeing the range. I can hear him laugh behind me at my enthusiasm.

  I feel arms wrap around my waist as I’m getting acquainted with the six burners. He rests his chin on my shoulder, his warm breath against my bare skin sending tremors all over. “Are you cold, Sunshine?”

  All I can do is shake my head as his lips kiss my neck. “Can I get you anything?” Another shake of my head. “Is there anything you want?” His lips nip at my earlobe. I lean back against him, relishing the feel of his body against mine.

  “You.”

  “You’ve got me, baby. Actually you’ve had me since the first time I saw you. You’re mine. Only mine. Just so we’re clear.”

  His words, his confession should frighten me, but it doesn’t. It actually has the opposite effect. I like the idea of being only his. Just as long as he knows he’s only mine.

  “Well then, I guess that makes you mine. Only mine.”

  “Abso-fucking-lutely.” Dash spins me in his arms so we’re face to face, then his lips are covering mine. My hands explore up his biceps, to his shoulders, finally coming to their final destination clutched around the back of his neck—
pulling him closer. His hand goes to the small of my back like it’s done so many other times tonight, but instead of guiding me away from him, it’s pulling me to him. Dash’s other hand roams up my side, pushing up the fabric of my top as it does. His scorching torch burns through me, into me igniting a spark like only he can. I want him. I need him. A deep, throaty moan escapes me, spurring Dash on. Suddenly we are tangle of tongues, each trying to possess the other. Much to my dismay, Dash’s lips leave mine, ghosting along my jaw to my neck. His lips and teeth nip and suck as I lean my head to the side to give him better access. Chills erupt all over my skin, while my insides burn red hot.

  “Fuck, Sunshine. I want to take you on every possible surface in my kitchen right now.” The vibration of his voice against my skin, his husky tone deep with sexuality shoots straight to my sex, causing an unbearable, needy ache. I squeeze my thighs together, trying desperately to bring any kind of relief. It’s minimal at best.

  My body vibrates with unbridled lust, my mind is crazy with desire for this man, and my hands can’t touch enough of his skin. “Then take me.” The words pour out of my mouth as if they’ve done it a thousand times with him.

  Dash stills. My heart beats erratically. Our panting fills the silence of the room. His hot, uneven breath creates more chills on my heated skin. My body shakes, and I’m not sure if it’s because of lust or the sudden realization that Dash has put a halt to our actions. His lips leave my neck as he pulls away to look directly into my eyes. His face contorts with what looks like discomfort mixed with pity. My heart drops to my stomach. He doesn’t want me now that I’ve offered myself to him. The chase is over. Or he sees how broken I am, reading in me even though I’ve tried to hide it. I go to pull out of his arms, but Dash latches on tighter holding me in place.

  “Dash, we… I mean… I understand if…” He silences me with a tender kiss.

  “Whatever is spinning in your head right now, stop. You just surprised me, yet again. I want you, Sunshine, more than I probably should. Don’t doubt that. Feel what you do to me with just a kiss, with just your body in my arms…” To prove his point, Dash reaches for my hand and brings it against his crotch; he’s incredibly hard. “You do that to me—no one else. Understand?”

  I tear my eyes from my hand on his erection and look up into his steel blue eyes. I see the truth to his words in them. “I… I do.”

  Dash gives me my favorite smile before pulling me into his arms. My head rests against his muscular chest, and I feel and hear the pounding of heartbeat. I do that to him. Me. Jules Bennett. And the knowledge and feeling is powerful. Dash Ford could probably have any women he wants in his arms right at this moment, but he chose me. He wants me. My heart swells in my chest with the realization that this feeling, this thing between us, isn’t so one-sided. I have the effect on him as he does on me. And because of that, I need to tell him. I need to tell him and trust that he will still want me just as much as he does right now.

  “What are you thinking about? Hmmm?” Dash’s voice breaks into my thoughts.

  “I’m thinking that I need to tell you something, and I just hope after I’ve said what I need to say you’ll still want me; that you’ll still look at me the way you are tonight.” That’s my greatest fear, that once I tell him about Blake, he’ll see me differently. He’ll see me as pathetic and weak. He’ll see me with pity in his eyes every time he looks at me. And that, I know, will break me.

  “You can tell me anything, Jules, anything at all. But first, I want to tell you something.” Dash gives me one last squeeze before releasing me from his embrace. His hands go to my waist. We’re still connected, and I really need that right now because inside I’m about to fall apart, and I haven’t even told him anything yet.

  “First, I care about you, really care about you. You’ve become an important part of my life in such a short time, and I hope that whatever is happening between us continues to grow from here on out. When I said I wanted to take you on every surface in my kitchen… well… it was the truth, and believe me, Sunshine, I will take you on every surface, but I want our first time not to be a hard and fast fuck. I want to take my time and make love to you. I want to explore every inch of your delectable body, getting to know every inch of beautiful skin. I want to relish in the way you make me feel when I’m sliding in and out of you, and I want to savor every time you scream out my name, because you will be screaming my name several, if not many times. And then after I’ve made love to you, Sunshine, I will fuck you fast and hard on the island behind me, on the kitchen table over there, against the refrigerator, in the butler’s pantry, and against the wet bar leading into the dining room…” Dash leans in so his lips are merely inches from mine, his intense eyes show me he means what he’s saying and hold me captive. “And then I’m gonna make love to you again just so I can fuck you fast and hard after. So, whatever is going on in that pretty little head of yours, whatever it is you have to tell me, remember that. Now, I can assume what you have to tell isn’t a conversation that should happen here. We probably should get a little more comfortable. Am I right?”

  Wow!

  Words fail me at the moment as my brain processes the incredibly hot things he just said to me. Dash wants to make love to me and then fuck me fast and hard. My panties were damp before; now I probably need a new pair.

  “Sunshine?”

  My mind catches up with my mouth. “Ummm… comfortable? Yeah, we should probably get comfortable… this… this is going to take a while… I think…” Nervousness starts to bubble inside me, and I do my damnedest to tamp it down. The way Dash is looking at me helps immensely.

  “Well, then follow me.” Dash takes my hand, leading me through the archway into the what I can assume is the family room. The sofa, loveseat, and over-stuffed chair are a deep brown and look incredibly comfy. He motions toward the sofa, and reluctantly I let go of his hand to take a seat. When I do, it’s like sitting on a cloud. This is the kind of sofa that makes all other sofas jealous and pale in comparison. It even beats the one in Dr. Hoffman’s office, and that sofa I love. Dash takes a seat on the ottoman across from me, inching it closer to the sofa so he is inches away. His hands rest on my legs, his thumbs swirling against my skin. The feeling is calming.

  “So?”

  I take a deep breath, send up a silent prayer, and utter my broken truth. Emotions rattles my voice. “I dated a guy… my ex… named Blake and he… he… he abused me—physically and mentally… he… he broke me. I’m damaged, Dash, I’m damaged…”

  Dash’s movements still. The nervousness swirling inside of me becomes a tornado as my heart beats with such ferocity it feels as though it will burst right through my chest wall. This is it. This is where he tells me I am pathetic for staying with a man like that, for allowing him to do that to me. And then the questions will come fast and furious. Why did I let him do it? Why didn’t I leave him sooner? Did I like it? I stare at my hands in my lap as my fingers twist and turn. I hold back the tears threatening to make an appearance. I don’t want to cry in front of him. I don’t want my tears to bring out the pity I know I will see when I finally look into his eyes. I sit in wait in deafening silence, and it’s killing me. I wish he would say something—anything—no matter how painful it will be. And the even scarier part is I have no escape. My car isn’t here, and I have nowhere to run to. I’m at his mercy at the moment. I close my eyes, hoping to become invisible as I wait in agony. Why did I tell him? Why?

  Dash’s hands leave my legs. He can’t stand to touch me. I knew it. I go to stand, but his voice stops me. “Don’t.”

  I ease back down and, against my better judgment, look to him. And what I see knocks me back. Dash’s eyes don’t hold any pity. They are blazing with rage. His nostrils are flaring; his mouth is set into a hard, thin line. My heart gallops faster. I notice his hands are in fists, his knuckles turning stark white. His chest rises and falls rapidly. Fear lances through me. I know I shouldn’t be afraid of Dash, but this side of him I�
��ve never seen, and it’s terrifying. My eyes must show my feelings because Dash suddenly closes his eyes and mumbles, counting to ten under his breath. He does this several times. He releases his fists, squeezing out the tight tendons. His neck cracks as he stretches it from side to side. And then he stands up, turning his back to me as he begins to pace back and forth, his fingers laced behind his head. I sit silent just watching him and waiting, not knowing what to think.

  After a few minutes and making a well-worn path in the rug, Dash stops, and when he turns around, his eyes are glistening; a single tear falls down his cheek. Before I know it, he’s in front of me pulling me up and into his arms—holding me tight against his chest. I wrap my arms around his waist, hoping this means what I think it does. I feel Dash’s body tremble against mine, and it’s in that moment my sobs begin even though I’ve tried desperately to hold them back, to appear stronger than I really am. Dash holds me tighter to him, his hand rubbing the length of my back in such a soothing and calming way. No words are spoken, none are needed. He’s giving me everything that I need at the moment. And in turn, I hope I’m giving him what he needs as I hold onto him with everything I have.

  Minutes pass as my sobs slowly subside, while neither one of us lets go of the other—our grip never lessening. Silence finally surrounds us. Dash kisses the top of my head once, twice, and I snuggle against him. He rests his cheek against my head, and I feel his chest rise and fall as he pushes out a long breath. “You’re… you’re not broken… you’re not damaged. You’re incredibly strong and brave to have gone through what you’ve gone through, Jules. You’re a beautiful survivor. No man has the right to put his hands on a woman in anger, or for any reason. No man has the right to make a woman feel unworthy, unwanted, damaged. No one has the right to live after doing that to someone they are supposed to love, cherish, and protect. I swear to you, Sunshine, if I ever… ever come face to face with your ex, I will kill him if he isn’t already dead. That I promise you.” He gives my hair a tender kiss before his hands come up on my shoulders and pull me from him. I reluctantly comply. Dash leans down and places the sweetest, heart-felt kiss on my lips and all my prior fears evaporate into nothingness. After another kiss, Dash pulls me back to the sofa, but this time instead of sitting on the ottoman, he sits on the sofa with me in his lap. I settle in, resting my head against his shoulder.